|Photo copyright 2013 by Pixelio/Maria Lanznaster|
I have been walking my spiritual path without a specific affiliation or label for a few months now and have greatly enjoyed the freedom that comes with it, practicing whatever works for me without having to think about "mixing traditions" or compromising with a group.
However, I have also felt my focus shifting away from spiritual themes towards other aspects of my life; my art in particular. While this is a development I appreciate, I have wondered if there is still a specific spiritual task for me. Although feeling quite comfortable with my life right now, there had been times when I was more engaged in spiritual work and the exact nature of my spiritual purpose was crystal clear to me.
Slightly frustrated by these nostalgic thoughts, I went to bed yesterday, but before I closed my eyes to sleep I decided to do some dream work. I asked Spirit:
"Is there a specific work you want me to do? Is there any path, tradition or group that I can feel at home with at the moment and where I can make a real difference? Where I feel engaged and excited once again?"
To my surprise, I received an answer in the form of a very detailed dream.
I was standing in a large, otherwise undefined room with many people, only lit by a few candles and indirect light from outside. Many people wore robes and mystical clothes and I felt as if I was attending a Pagan gathering of some sorts. Most people had gathered together in small groups and sat in circles which were marked by flowers, shells or other small trinkets from nature.
Was I to choose a circle for myself? There were circles of young witch-like people in black gothy clothes, others consisted of older faces that radiated wisdom and serenity. Still other groups looked more like hippie sit-ins. And every circle on the floor seemed to have a distinct design, using different symbols, colours and designs.
I cannot remember what happened next, but suddenly I was in another smaller room with an old man clothed in a rough green robe. His face was weathered but friendly and all of his hair had turned white-silver over the many years that he had been on this earth. He was stoking a fire and he felt very Druidic to me.
"So what are you looking for?" he asked.
"I'm not sure." I responded, "Something that feels real. Something authentic and unpretentious. I have watched a YouTube clip about a council of indigenous people a few days ago and they all felt so practical, humble and down to earth with their spirituality. That's what I want too."
He smiles and shrugged, still paying more attention to the fire than to me.
Another cut. I was back in the large room with the circles again. I decided to look around a bit and met an old friend I had circled with a long time ago. I felt no pull to be in her group, quite the contrary, so we partedin a friendly way and I looked further. My eyes found the green-robed man in a circle with a few equally aged people, but also a few men and women my age and even younger. There were still a few empty spots in their circle.
"May I join you?" I asked shyly.
"Yes, of course!" the man said in a friendly voice, "Welcome to our circle. Every circle you see has its own speciality and purpose. We are working to reconnect the people with their deep ancestry."
"Yes... it's less about working with individual ancestors and all about reconnecting to the souls of our peoples, our folk natures. We also work with the spirits of the land, which are part of our ancestry too. This is very important work, you know. We have been without roots for such a long time..."
I smiled. Yes, this felt like something worthwhile. I sat down. I felt at home.
When I woke up I clearly remembered every detail, but one of my first thoughts was: "Where the hell can I find these people?" Then I realized that maybe they were just a symbolic expression of the path that lies ahead of me. It even occurred to me that I might one day be that old man in the green robe. I hadn't really seen his face after all, but he felt very familiar. Spirit guide, real person, future self or metaphor... whatever. The important part was that now I had a clear vision of my spiritual work again. And that was what I was looking for after all.
Many thanks to the spirits that guided me. Speak to you all soon!